Surviving Grief
Dear Jesus,
I come before You today as a grieving mother, burdened with sorrow and loss. In my heart, I carry the weight of losing my precious child, a pain that seems insurmountable. And yet thankful for the two children I get to hold every day. I reach out to You, knowing that in Your divine love and compassion, You understand the depths of my anguish.
Lord Jesus, You witnessed the journey my family embarked upon in 2009, as my husband prepared for his deployment to Iraq. The joy of expecting a new life, mixed with the uncertainty of my high-risk pregnancy, filled our hearts. Amidst it all, we made the decision to move closer to family, seeking support and solace during this challenging time.
But life's twists and turns unfolded unexpectedly, as we received the devastating news of my sister-in-law's worsening cancer. We chose to visit her, knowing that this might be our last chance to see her alive. Little did we anticipate the premature labor that began on our journey back home, and the heart-wrenching reality that our son's fragile life would be cut short by infection. Holding our baby boy, watching him fight for breath until he could fight no more, shattered our dreams and plunged us into a sea of grief we never imagined. Yet, I stand secure You were not surprised by any of it.
Jesus, as I stood before the doorstep of our empty home, overwhelmed by grief and longing for my lost child, I felt the weight of despair. Yet, through the darkness, You provided a glimmer of hope. You instilled in my husband and me a simple but profound agreement—the five-minute rule. In those moments of overwhelming sadness, we would look into each other's eyes and utter the word "five," allowing ourselves a brief respite from the world's demands to hold each other, to weep together – for a simply five minutes – only to return to the grime of packing, moving, saying good-bye and watching my husband deploy.
Lord, this rule became a lifeline, granting me permission to acknowledge my pain and process my emotions. It taught me the importance of not denying or suppressing my feelings but allowing them their rightful place in my healing journey. Your grace surrounded me as I clung to those precious five minutes, granting me strength to face each day with renewed resolve.
Through the passing years, the intensity of my grief has lessened, but the memory of my beloved child remains etched in my heart. The five-minute rule has evolved, but its significance endures. It serves as a reminder that we all need moments to confront our emotions, to grieve and reflect. Grant me the wisdom to honor my feelings, to find solace in Your presence, and to rise above the pain that threatens to engulf me.
Jesus, as I pour out my heart to You, I seek Your comfort and guidance. Embrace me with Your tender love and understanding. Surround my family with Your healing touch, strengthening the bond between us. Grant me the courage to face each day, and may Your grace carry me through the depths of my sorrow.
In Your name, I humbly bow before Your crown. I love You, my King.
Amen
This prayer is a reflection of an article that was published in Military Spouse Magazine. If you would like to read the article please use this URL to find it: https://www.militaryspouse.com/military-life/surviving-grief-five-minutes-at-a-time/
